You're Focused On All The Wrong Sort Of Details, Redux

I realized in the last entry that I failed to mention a couple of topics that definitely bear addressing.  As such, I thought I'd hit up this topic again, as their are too many people in the gym doing precisely the wrong fucking thing every time they enter the building, and the shit needs to stop.  I suppose I can't hold it against them- at a time when the state of California is bankrupt, San Francisco's moving to ban happy meals, while at the same time, people on the Biggest Loser are justifying their ridiculous obesity on mean parents and just about everyone else in the US watches some tv show about the lowest shitbags in the US- people in New Jersey.  Everyone appears to be focussed predominantly on shit that doesn't matter, rather than shit that does... but that silliness should not extend to the gym.  When you hit the gym, you should be focussed on the larger picture- hitting your goals, whatever they may be, and making everyone weep with fear when you stomp around the gym like a miniature Godzilla, not quibbling internally over nonsense that will have little to no bearing on achieving your goals.  Get focussed on the right details, and stop with the nonsense.

Prehab/Rehab
Believe it or not, a couple of years ago, T-Nation was a damn good website.  There were articles about esoteric or cutting-edge training systems, writeups on using shit like DNP that would either kill you or get you ripped, and training articles by guys like Chad Waterbury that were both functional and unconventional.  Unfortunately, those days are past, replaced with a preoccupation with bodybuilding and more prehab and rehab than one could ever have any interest in completing.

Really?

Are prehab and rehab useful?  Sure- if a muscle hurts, you should do self-massage.  Any fucking retard can figure this out.  There are many simple motherfuckers out there, however, who've never done a hard workout in their lives, and yet they think that without the proper prehab and rehab, they'll end up in a wheelchair inside of three weeks.  A kid I used to see at Iron Sport was a prime example of this- he'd warmup and prehab for an hour and a half, then lift for 20 minutes and go home.  It was patently ridiculous, especially given the fact that he weighed 130 lbs and always wore chucks and Inzer tshirts, and he actually recorded his disgrace religiously in a notebook.  From watching him, I learned something useful- foam rolling is by and large worthless.  If you need to grind out some knots, they can help, but a broomstick works far better.  No matter how fucked up you are, your ratio of prehab to training should never be more than 1:10.

What in the name of sweet breakfast meats is he doing?

As for self-massage, there are any number of ways to go about it.  A simple google search will yield plenty of methods, so I'm not going to try to reinvent the wheel- I either lay on a couple of tennis balls in a tubesock and use that to roll out knots, or I use a Theracane.  They're both effective methods to roll out knots.  Additionally, I've found soaking in the hottest bath I can tolerate, dosed with a liberal serving of Epsom Salts can work wonders in reducing soreness and relieving knotting.  Other than that, I'll use shit like the reverse hyper only if suffering from weird hip tightness or pain, of if my lower back is tight.  If it's not heading in the direction of injury, I'd rather spend my time doing something actually useful.

I don't know if masturbation aids recovery, but I intend to find out.

Stability
Paul Chek is the man in some regards- he's pointed out that microwaving your food can damage its integrity, promoted metabolic typing, and increased the awareness of the utility of wellness in the strength training community.  By the same token, however, he's promoted two objects so insidious and horrible that he could cure cancer and he'd still deserve to get some sort of horrible hemorrhagic fever.  Maybe not Ebola, but certainly Crimean-Congo or Hantavirus.  What'd he promote?  Swiss balls and BOSU balls.

This is what hell must look like.

The average person needs stability training like they need a hole in the fucking head.  The average heavy weight trainer needs no stability training at all- if you squat and deadlift heavy, and incorporate anything that even remotely resembles athletic movements like cleans, what the fuck could you possibly need this bullshit for?  Training your "core"?  People have trained their "core" for eons without this pathetic bullshit, and they did it by moving heavy things around and not worrying about how flat their back was while doing it.  Stability training is nonsense, and if you disagree, you're either a moron or some sort of huckster.  Either way, hemorrhagic fever for you.

Exercise Selection 
People are easily led astray on exercise selection, which is intriguing to me.  Why a person would choose the leg press over the squat is a mystery I cannot resolve, for instance, but it still happens.  People get all sorts of ridiculous ideas in their heads about what exercises they should be doing, and do them, rather than what works.  Here's a simple tip- if you find an exercise to be easy, it doesn't work.  Either add a shitload of weight or pick something else.  It's that simple.  Exercises that work are typically those found in competitions- powerlifts, strongman lifts, Olympic lifts... but if they involve anything made of chrome, they're generally nothing around which you want to base your training.  At best, they're window dressing, and at worst, they'll do little but fuck up your joints and prevent you from doing real lifting (leg extensions being the worst culprit).

Even kettlebells can be ok with the proper motivation and decent weight.  A hot Finnish chick being the only real valid motivation.

Now, stop dithering and go lift something heavy, repeatedly, and then go eat a massive amount of animal... live or dead.