once when i try to tell one, any one of you, something i consider sensational, i know you've already had it shared among yourselves. sometimes it all is an elaborate conspiracy. you=all.
i've started crawling into myself. at one point of time. yes. trapped. grey. always.
yes yes. you all have something to return to. posts to cling on to when The Witch of The East rips you off your Kansas. NO i never said i don't. *taken aback*
yes. i did intend a metaphor. duh.
i've realized i'm scared to look out...to PEEP out for that matter. i'm scared of Revelations. i'm terrified of having to know.
one by one. little by little...all my canvas is Othered. have i stopped feeling? i TRY to tell myself that, at any rate. i try to prove to myself that i have grown up, and that nothing can be rushed. cheers. do i fail? well i try to establish that i don't.
I DON'T NEED TO KNOW DAMMIT! I DON'T FUCKIN' NEED TO KNOW ANYTHING! JUST DON'T SCRATCH IT ON MY BRAIN OKAY? DON'T! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. I DON'T BLOODY CARE! HELL YES. I MEAN IT. I'VE HAD FRIKKIN' ENOUGH AND I DON'T NEED ANY OF THIS. I'M NOT BEING DONE A FAVOUR. And it's high time this conspiracy signed off...
I DON'T NEED TO BE MADE TO REGRET ANY MORE. I DON'T NEED TO BE MADE TO FEEL NAKED ANYMORE...
phew. no please. i never bargained for any of this. i'm not even important enough to be hated, let alone liked or loved by ANY of this world. so just let me be ok? it's bad enough being numb. please don't add new knowledges, new feelings, new lostnesses, new snappity-snap-traps every day. pleeeeez??
i wish i could paint this in a better way. perhaps build paragraphs people would call poetry...
perhaps atleast use better language skill?
(Ok no 'YOU' doesn't mean you readers. bleh. goes without saying.)
i just had to write this somewhere. i could have written it in my journal but i stopped writing my diary a couple of months ago.
i've started crawling into myself. at one point of time. yes. trapped. grey. always.
yes yes. you all have something to return to. posts to cling on to when The Witch of The East rips you off your Kansas. NO i never said i don't. *taken aback*
yes. i did intend a metaphor. duh.
i've realized i'm scared to look out...to PEEP out for that matter. i'm scared of Revelations. i'm terrified of having to know.
one by one. little by little...all my canvas is Othered. have i stopped feeling? i TRY to tell myself that, at any rate. i try to prove to myself that i have grown up, and that nothing can be rushed. cheers. do i fail? well i try to establish that i don't.
I DON'T NEED TO KNOW DAMMIT! I DON'T FUCKIN' NEED TO KNOW ANYTHING! JUST DON'T SCRATCH IT ON MY BRAIN OKAY? DON'T! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW. I DON'T BLOODY CARE! HELL YES. I MEAN IT. I'VE HAD FRIKKIN' ENOUGH AND I DON'T NEED ANY OF THIS. I'M NOT BEING DONE A FAVOUR. And it's high time this conspiracy signed off...
I DON'T NEED TO BE MADE TO REGRET ANY MORE. I DON'T NEED TO BE MADE TO FEEL NAKED ANYMORE...
phew. no please. i never bargained for any of this. i'm not even important enough to be hated, let alone liked or loved by ANY of this world. so just let me be ok? it's bad enough being numb. please don't add new knowledges, new feelings, new lostnesses, new snappity-snap-traps every day. pleeeeez??
i wish i could paint this in a better way. perhaps build paragraphs people would call poetry...
perhaps atleast use better language skill?
(Ok no 'YOU' doesn't mean you readers. bleh. goes without saying.)
i just had to write this somewhere. i could have written it in my journal but i stopped writing my diary a couple of months ago.
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