Enough Already- Sex and Baddassery Are Definitively Interwined, Part 2.

Never before have I been so pleased at my ability to sow the seeds of discord as i have been with this series of blogs.  Frankly, I thought that everyone could agree that we should all fuck more and masturbate more, since getting off is pretty much the best fucking thing to happen in the history of forever.

Apparently, I was wrong.  Some of you, it appears, find that it saps you of your will to live, or something, which is as hilarious as it is sad.  Still others are deeply convinced by a study done in China that cumming more than once every seven days is less than optimal.  That's understandable, I suppose, because recent studies have shown that 9/10 of the people on Earth suck really fucking hard, and 19/20 of the people on the planet suck anywhere between a lot and really fucking hard.(Study I just made up)

First, a logical argument for constant sexual stimulation.  It's been definitively proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that libido is heavily dependent on testosterone in both men and women.  For both, supplemental testosterone is positively indicated to treat hypoactive sexual desire, which would indicate that more testosterone creates more sex drive.  For evidence of this, you merely need to google it- I'm not going to post citations to the dozens and dozens of studies that corroborate my statement.  Should you feel the need to do so, feel free- I assure you that this is for all intents and purposes an incontrovertible fact.  Given that this is a fact, it would stand to reason that engaging in sexual activity would not negatively affect your sex drive, as to do so would defeat the purpose of the rise in testosterone in the first place.  Additionally, it would defy the biological imperative towards procreation, and diminish one's interest in sexual activity, which would indicate that one's genetic material would not get passed on to subsequent generations.  Thus, the idea that fucking or jerking off would lower test levels is fucking absurd.

Casting logic aside, as so many people appear to do when it comes to sex, let's continue to look at the science.  First, a recent study has shown that optimal sexual performance requires hormonal changes that are best developed through regular sexual activity.

"Our results showed that a 9-day training period was not sufficient for some male rats to acquire a good level of sexual performance. While 42.5% of the rats displayed excellent sexual performance during the training sessions, 17.5% showed adequate performance, 7.5% had low sexual activity, and 32.5% of the rats did not display any sexual behaviors whatsoever. Additionally, after 4 days of training, rats with excellent/adequate performance showed a significant decrease in ejaculation latency relative to the first day of training. The rats with low or no sexual activity had lower progesterone levels relative to those displaying the highest sexual performance after 9 days of training. Testosterone, in turn, was also significantly reduced in animals with low/no sexual performance compared with excellent/adequate rats."(Tufik, et al.)

This means that fucking/jerking off a great deal will reduce your downtime, make you a better lay, and will raise your testosterone levels.  Given that it's my supposition (backed by science) that sexual activity raises testosterone levels, this is fairly compelling- not only does it raise your test levels, but it provides you with the necessary biological response to get you laid more, rather than less (as the obliquely cited Chinese study above would assert).

Built for sex.

As an aside- practice makes fucking perfect with sex.  There are entire books devoted to helping you train to be a better lay (like Built for Sex and Nate Green's book), and everyone from urologists to sex therapists recommend that masturbation is the perfect way to prime the pump for people with low libidos.  Additionally, for those of you who might be a little quick on the draw, there's some evidence that compulsive levels of masturbatory activity will increase your staying power and your turnaround time. That's just a little icing on the cake for you.  If knights in the Middle Ages would practice fucking goose down with 30 lbs of weights attached to their hips so they could fuck without removing their armor, you people can spend a few hours a week jerking it like you mean it so you're not firing the second you get out of the gate when some broad finally gets naked for you.

Ready to fuck his way through his codpiece, if need be.

For those ladies out there, personal experience and some studies I failed to cite gave compelling evidence that masturbation is pretty much essential for your sex drives and markedly increase your chances of cumming during sex (although overuse of pocket rockets seem to desensitize the clit like no other, so take it easy with those things).  As I cited in the last blog, orgasms raise female test levels as well, and will thus make you stronger, leaner, and generally more awesome in just about every way, so start giving it up (at least to yourselves, if not to anyone else).

Next, there's no evidence whatsoever supporting the idea that orgasms from sex or onanism in any way have a negative physical effect on athletic performance, and there is some evidence showing that sex within 24 hours of competition actually improves it.  (BFS 205, and Discovery News)  There's anecdotal evidence, however, that the psychological affect of sex can have an either positive or negative effect on athletic performance, but it's unknown whether this is due to some particular psychological makeup, or if it's simply a placebo effect.  I'm inclined toward the latter, due to the fact that many people appear to convince themselves that certain activities or supplements will result in a given effect and create the perception of the effect simply by willing it to be so.  If your body can reduce your perception of pain due to the expectation of a reduction in pain (Mind Matters), then it would stand to reason that you could either suck or kick ass in athletics from the placebo effect as well.

Finally, and in direct relation to the title of this blog- there's direct evidence that badassery and a prolific sex life are intertwined.  One really needs to look no further than Genghis Khan, who was both the penultimate badass and the most impressive sexual athlete of all time.  There's really no evidence of a dedicated masturbatory schedule for Genghis, but this is likely due to the fact that he was far too busy fucking and killing to have a spare moment for masturbation- .5% of the people in the world trace their lineage to Genghis (34,336,748.6 people on Earth can honestly call him their super-great-grandpa) and the Mongols are credited with the deaths of 40 million people.  Additionally, he was credited with having "great physical strength", so any idea that he was weakened by sex can be discarded.

Right up there with Genghis was Rasputin, proud owner of a cervix-destroying 13" Godzilla cock, the ability to control the weather, massive physical strength, and the only libido on Earth that could match Genghis's.  He fucked every broad on whom he laid eyes, including the Empress of Russia, and survived be poisoned, shot multiple times, stabbed, and strangled, only to die of drowning after he was tossed into a river.

He might seem like a douche, but this "bad boy" gets more ass than a toilet seat at NASCAR... and he fucks Keira Knightley.

At this point, it should come as no shock to you that bad boys (who demonstrably possess more testosterone than "nice guys") get far more ass than "nice guys".(Nice Guys)  I would attribute this to a variety of factors, but they all boil down to testosterone in the end- guys with more test have more masculine facial features, better bodies, harder and bigger cocks, and smell better (due to their heightened immune system), all of which increase their attractiveness to women. (I have no specific citation here, but check out the Anatomy of Love, the Anatomy of Sex, and sundry Discovery Channel and TLC programs on this)

The Jewish god killed Onan because he refused to knock up his brother's wife, not because he jacked it or blew his loads on her back.

If you're unconvinced, at this point, that extraordinarily frequent orgasms are hormonally essential and indispensable for your overall health, you're either dyslexic or a fundamentalist Christian.  In the first case, seek medical attention, and in the latter case, you need to reread the Bible and investigate the definitions of words like "adultery" in the historical sense.  You'll be pleasantly surprised at what you find.  For the rest of you- get off as much as you can, and not only will you be some ridiculously happy motherfuckers, but you'll see positive changes in body recomposition, overall wellness, and athletic performance.

Let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

Sources:
Alvarenga TA, Andersen ML, and Tufik S. Influence of progesterone on sexual performance in male rats. J Sex Med 2010;7:2435–2444.

Grayson, A.  Why Nice Guys Finish Last: New Research Points to Biological Reason Why Girls Like Bad Boys.  http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=5197531&page=1
Hays, Scott.  Built for Sex.  NYC: Rodale, 2005.

Mirsky J.  Expectancy and the Placebo Effect: How Cognitive Processing Utilizes the rACC to Alter the Perception of Pain.  Mind Matters: The Wesleyan Journal of Psychology; 2007:2 19-28.

Sohn, E.  WORLD CUP 2010: CAN ABSTINENCE AFFECT ATHLETIC PERFORMANCE? http://news.discovery.com/human/world-cup-soccer-abstinence.html